Discovery of the Spiderwok

After returning from one of his trips around the woods yesterday, Otis told me of a discovery he had made. He had been hunting for pine cones - a secret delight of his - and had come across a rather strange creature. This creature wasn't very big, and looked like a spider, except that it had nine legs instead of eight; the ninth leg being underneath the spider's body, instead of on the side.

I have reason to believe Otis is not quite telling the truth, because he then went on to tell me this:

"As I jumped back in shock from this ridiculously strange creature, it too squealed in fright. I mean, just it squealed in fright - I did not squeal, of course. At this point, I waited for it to argue its case, probably thinking it was going to be eaten. And it turned out that this creature was in fact Sarran the third, a distant relative of my fourth cousin once removed. So, of course we got chatting and then, all of a sudden, we heard a big stompeed not too far from us. 'Quick', I shouted to Sarran, 'Jump on my back and I will fly us to safety!'
So Sarran jumped on my back, quick as a flash thanks to his ninth belly leg, and I flew to the top of the tallest tree in the near vicinity. Just in that moment, an army of ants and cockroach and centipedes and caterpillars stormed passed, causing a great deal of noise and mess as they left their mark on the once peaceful woods. Even from where we were, we could hear their angry shouting. 'Vote leaf! Vote leaf!'
Slightly taken aback, Sarran and I quickly discussed what we should do. Unlucky as he was (he'd once mistaken a horn beetle for a fly and nearly choked to death), Sarran's house had been ruined in the stampeed, and so he had nowhere to go and nothing better to do anyway. So we followed the crowd until the came to a clearing, where they stopped and held a meeting. Turns out that the wood authorities are in debate about whether to choose leaf or hay, and of course the little bugs want to choose leaf.
By the time the meeting was over, it was dark and getting cold, so I offered a place to stay for Sarran, and he accepted. So he has made himself a temporary home in the wall outside, and we are discussing our options with the whole leaf hay debate."

Castellum Cleppus

The wind has once again taken us to new places. This time, we abide in the Castellum Cleppus, and indeed it is quite lofty up here. The other night, when Desmond was paying us a visit, we were fearful that our floor would be lifted right off its scary heights. But, as you can see, we are still here and even the roof remained intact.

Otis in fact is very smitten with our latest tenant; Wilhelmina. She is a quiet sort, keeps to herself (mainly hides out in the cupboard with the other mugs), and is very content. So far, we have not heard her complaining about anything. Whereas Otis and I, on the other hand, cannot quit complaining. Up until now, it has been far too cold in this land that resembles Arandelle so much. Today, it was like we were in the tropics. We both cannot abide temperature, and are thinking of starting a petition to abolish it.

Anyway, we have been doing our utmost best to make our home more homely Christmas, but we are sorry to say we will be doing the Christmas tree again tomorrow, as the baubles are not sitting right. Otis is mainly to blame for that, as he did a lot of it in his spare time whilst I was at work. There is no gallivanting around the place for him in this cold. He told me that on a recent journey to the highlands, one of his wings froze up completely, and it was only with the help of a kindly old eagle that was flying close by that he was able to land safely and stay the night in an empty tree. I wouldn't usually believe this silly old owl, but having had similar experiences myself, I can only be thankful that he is still here.

Changes All Round

As this crazy world does it's many many turns each year, and people come and people go, Otis and I have been very blessed to be a part of this incredible adventure that is life. True, it's easier said in the warmth of a hazy summer's day (yes, even we in Scotland get a summer day) than whilst trying to find some comfort in a thick woollen blanket and a hot mug of cocoa as the frost creeps in from outside. And, let's be honest, the wine is a positive contributor as well.

But even without such luxuries, it is true that as of late, Otis has found his peace (and not of the sad kind) in the rafters of our new home, Castle Manor Rabidus. It's quiet here out in the country, and I'm guessing that the increased amount of mice in his diet makes a nice change from the soap I discovered he was eating (I snuck up on him one midnight, with his beak foaming and the flustered bird stuttering something about midnight snack, one off, crazy person for waking up. I hid the soap behind the TV and he's not had any since. Not from our stock anyway).

Apart from that, we also have a few additions to our expanding tribe (external, might I add). Mildred has been a loyal companion to Harold for the past months, who knows what they whisper to each other about when all they ever do is sit on the sofa and watch the world slip by them. They seem to like each other. A lot.
Then there is the Duchess of the Dawn, and her mighty guardian, Jessine of Beyond. A little tink she is, but faithful and full of joy.
We had to leave poor Sebastian behind in our lovely little flat. We insisted he come with us, join us in our new life not so far away, but he seemed a little grumpy at the prospect of having to face the roar of human world.

So the King of Scotland, Otis and I have once again been uprooted, but with new territory comes new adventure, so we shall raise a glass and toast you all (we're not gonna eat you, promise).

Housemates Old and New

We've had quite an interesting time lately with our new housemate, Harold.  The King of Scotland insisted this little man find his home with us as soon as he laid eyes on the wee creature, and so since then, he has been settling in to his new (and somewhat bizarre) surroundings. 


I'm not sure what Otis thinks about this.  He has been spending a lot of his time outside in the months that we have been here; there are a lot more trees here, and I believe he has made a lot of new friends.  He comes home a few nights each month, and of course I try to engage in some kind of interesting conversation with him.  Oh, he listens to my ramblings, but never speaks himself so much as an indication to leave him alone unless I feel like walking around with no toes. 


So I leave him to his grumpy life (he used to be so much nicer in Wales!), and get on with mine, but I can't help noticing that he appears a bit jealous of the attention Harold is receiving.  Of course, the fact that Harold is a lot more compliant than Otis does not help the situation - having such a lovely, peaceful creature around is so refreshing. 

I plan on trying to get Otis to be a bit more interactive though.  Hopefully, with Christmas drawing near, he will open up a bit more.  We'll just have to wait and see.

A Witness Request

Our latest adventures have involved quite a lot of travel.  Of course that's no problem for Otis.  He is, after all, an owl.  But it has proven problematic for me; in particular because we seem to loose each other quite a bit when out and about.  I had been telling Otis to acquire a sat nav, but he still can't get his head around the concept of invisible information.  We haven't broached the topic of thoughts yet.

Anyway, so there was one particular incident where I was on the coach going somewhere, and I was reading away, when I happen to look out of the window, and there was Otis, perched on the rooftop of a car on the motorway, with his tail in the head, looking into the car.  I think the people in the car must have got quite a fright, as they were banging on the window and seemed to be shouting at him.  And then Otis somehow fell off the car and fell into a bush and that was the last I saw of him, right through my entire trip and all the way back too.

Until tonight, when I found him in a tree near Tesco's.  I was doing my regular shop, when I happened to come across him with some of his new mates in the tree (he says he understands the Scottish banter a lot better than pigeon banter).  Surprised, I asked him where on earth he had been.  He replied in his usual smug manner that he had been looking for me but I had nearly killed him and left him in a bush to die!!!  We exchanged a few more slightly unpleasant vocabulary before I went on my way and he continued perching on his high tree. 

As far as I am aware, he is still there now, no doubt rejoicing in the fact that he thinks rid of me.  But I have in mind to go tell him a thing or two tomorrow.  Such owlness is just fowl and I will stand it no longer.  If anyone reading this witnessed these recent events, please get in touch, as I am creating a folder of the 'Otis out' sort.  Not the type that gets rid of him, just the one that enquires after his intellect and provides a little intervention to sort some of his problems out.  I would miss him terribly if he were to completely disappear.  Besides, there's still the concept of thoughts to talk about ...

Where did November come from?

I've been flying around the place for a while now and when I came back, it was November. Rabaskah Boo keeps telling me it's because I must have fallen aslip somewhere but that's just not true. She's binn teaching me speeling and English as mine apparantly was atrsuss but she's ok at it I guess.

So people, please tell me where November came from because I lost track of October, September, and all the months inbitween.

~ Otis Burble

The secret of time keeping ...

... Is definitely colour coding. Colour code your diary, your time schedule plan, your Bible, the books you read, things you find hard to remember, everything. Here's why.

Having conducted a study on the Functioning and Anatomical Structure of the owl brain based on the Case Study of Otis Burble, and the Interaction of daily input and Electrochemical Stimulation of Temporal Neurones, I found that the difference between giving Otis Burble things to remember that were colour coded produced significantly more correct answers than when I gave him things to remember without any colour coding at all. In addition, the inclusion of chocolate was phenomenal! He has since learnt the ancient art of bat communicating, as well as manners, and is now learning how to woo cars from parking in stupid places like ON THE CYCLE LANES!!! Hopefully there will be no more annoying people who think that it's fine to do that because cyclists aren't less likely to be run over if they have to overtake cars parked on a double yellow line where they're obviously not meant to be. Sometimes, the traffic people get it right and put things in the streets for a reason.

Anyway, I'd better go. That study I was talking about is being published and will soon be accessible via the Intraconnected Journal of Owls and other Small Mammals. The bats are back.

Burble & Boo. xx