After returning from one of his trips around the woods yesterday, Otis told me of a discovery he had made. He had been hunting for pine cones - a secret delight of his - and had come across a rather strange creature. This creature wasn't very big, and looked like a spider, except that it had nine legs instead of eight; the ninth leg being underneath the spider's body, instead of on the side.
I have reason to believe Otis is not quite telling the truth, because he then went on to tell me this:
"As I jumped back in shock from this ridiculously strange creature, it too squealed in fright. I mean, just it squealed in fright - I did not squeal, of course. At this point, I waited for it to argue its case, probably thinking it was going to be eaten. And it turned out that this creature was in fact Sarran the third, a distant relative of my fourth cousin once removed. So, of course we got chatting and then, all of a sudden, we heard a big stompeed not too far from us. 'Quick', I shouted to Sarran, 'Jump on my back and I will fly us to safety!'
So Sarran jumped on my back, quick as a flash thanks to his ninth belly leg, and I flew to the top of the tallest tree in the near vicinity. Just in that moment, an army of ants and cockroach and centipedes and caterpillars stormed passed, causing a great deal of noise and mess as they left their mark on the once peaceful woods. Even from where we were, we could hear their angry shouting. 'Vote leaf! Vote leaf!'
Slightly taken aback, Sarran and I quickly discussed what we should do. Unlucky as he was (he'd once mistaken a horn beetle for a fly and nearly choked to death), Sarran's house had been ruined in the stampeed, and so he had nowhere to go and nothing better to do anyway. So we followed the crowd until the came to a clearing, where they stopped and held a meeting. Turns out that the wood authorities are in debate about whether to choose leaf or hay, and of course the little bugs want to choose leaf.
By the time the meeting was over, it was dark and getting cold, so I offered a place to stay for Sarran, and he accepted. So he has made himself a temporary home in the wall outside, and we are discussing our options with the whole leaf hay debate."
Tuesday, 3 May 2016
Tuesday, 8 December 2015
Castellum Cleppus
The wind has once again taken us to new places. This time, we abide in the Castellum Cleppus, and indeed it is quite lofty up here. The other night, when Desmond was paying us a visit, we were fearful that our floor would be lifted right off its scary heights. But, as you can see, we are still here and even the roof remained intact.
Otis in fact is very smitten with our latest tenant; Wilhelmina. She is a quiet sort, keeps to herself (mainly hides out in the cupboard with the other mugs), and is very content. So far, we have not heard her complaining about anything. Whereas Otis and I, on the other hand, cannot quit complaining. Up until now, it has been far too cold in this land that resembles Arandelle so much. Today, it was like we were in the tropics. We both cannot abide temperature, and are thinking of starting a petition to abolish it.
Anyway, we have been doing our utmost best to make our home more homely Christmas, but we are sorry to say we will be doing the Christmas tree again tomorrow, as the baubles are not sitting right. Otis is mainly to blame for that, as he did a lot of it in his spare time whilst I was at work. There is no gallivanting around the place for him in this cold. He told me that on a recent journey to the highlands, one of his wings froze up completely, and it was only with the help of a kindly old eagle that was flying close by that he was able to land safely and stay the night in an empty tree. I wouldn't usually believe this silly old owl, but having had similar experiences myself, I can only be thankful that he is still here.
Otis in fact is very smitten with our latest tenant; Wilhelmina. She is a quiet sort, keeps to herself (mainly hides out in the cupboard with the other mugs), and is very content. So far, we have not heard her complaining about anything. Whereas Otis and I, on the other hand, cannot quit complaining. Up until now, it has been far too cold in this land that resembles Arandelle so much. Today, it was like we were in the tropics. We both cannot abide temperature, and are thinking of starting a petition to abolish it.
Anyway, we have been doing our utmost best to make our home more homely Christmas, but we are sorry to say we will be doing the Christmas tree again tomorrow, as the baubles are not sitting right. Otis is mainly to blame for that, as he did a lot of it in his spare time whilst I was at work. There is no gallivanting around the place for him in this cold. He told me that on a recent journey to the highlands, one of his wings froze up completely, and it was only with the help of a kindly old eagle that was flying close by that he was able to land safely and stay the night in an empty tree. I wouldn't usually believe this silly old owl, but having had similar experiences myself, I can only be thankful that he is still here.
Wednesday, 17 June 2015
Changes All Round
As this crazy world does it's many many turns each year, and people come and people go, Otis and I have been very blessed to be a part of this incredible adventure that is life. True, it's easier said in the warmth of a hazy summer's day (yes, even we in Scotland get a summer day) than whilst trying to find some comfort in a thick woollen blanket and a hot mug of cocoa as the frost creeps in from outside. And, let's be honest, the wine is a positive contributor as well.
But even without such luxuries, it is true that as of late, Otis has found his peace (and not of the sad kind) in the rafters of our new home, Castle Manor Rabidus. It's quiet here out in the country, and I'm guessing that the increased amount of mice in his diet makes a nice change from the soap I discovered he was eating (I snuck up on him one midnight, with his beak foaming and the flustered bird stuttering something about midnight snack, one off, crazy person for waking up. I hid the soap behind the TV and he's not had any since. Not from our stock anyway).
Apart from that, we also have a few additions to our expanding tribe (external, might I add). Mildred has been a loyal companion to Harold for the past months, who knows what they whisper to each other about when all they ever do is sit on the sofa and watch the world slip by them. They seem to like each other. A lot.
Then there is the Duchess of the Dawn, and her mighty guardian, Jessine of Beyond. A little tink she is, but faithful and full of joy.
We had to leave poor Sebastian behind in our lovely little flat. We insisted he come with us, join us in our new life not so far away, but he seemed a little grumpy at the prospect of having to face the roar of human world.
So the King of Scotland, Otis and I have once again been uprooted, but with new territory comes new adventure, so we shall raise a glass and toast you all (we're not gonna eat you, promise).
But even without such luxuries, it is true that as of late, Otis has found his peace (and not of the sad kind) in the rafters of our new home, Castle Manor Rabidus. It's quiet here out in the country, and I'm guessing that the increased amount of mice in his diet makes a nice change from the soap I discovered he was eating (I snuck up on him one midnight, with his beak foaming and the flustered bird stuttering something about midnight snack, one off, crazy person for waking up. I hid the soap behind the TV and he's not had any since. Not from our stock anyway).
Apart from that, we also have a few additions to our expanding tribe (external, might I add). Mildred has been a loyal companion to Harold for the past months, who knows what they whisper to each other about when all they ever do is sit on the sofa and watch the world slip by them. They seem to like each other. A lot.
Then there is the Duchess of the Dawn, and her mighty guardian, Jessine of Beyond. A little tink she is, but faithful and full of joy.
We had to leave poor Sebastian behind in our lovely little flat. We insisted he come with us, join us in our new life not so far away, but he seemed a little grumpy at the prospect of having to face the roar of human world.
So the King of Scotland, Otis and I have once again been uprooted, but with new territory comes new adventure, so we shall raise a glass and toast you all (we're not gonna eat you, promise).
Sunday, 9 November 2014
Housemates Old and New
We've had quite an interesting time lately with our new housemate, Harold. The King of Scotland insisted this little man find his home with us as soon as he laid eyes on the wee creature, and so since then, he has been settling in to his new (and somewhat bizarre) surroundings. I'm not sure what Otis thinks about this. He has been spending a lot of his time outside in the months that we have been here; there are a lot more trees here, and I believe he has made a lot of new friends. He comes home a few nights each month, and of course I try to engage in some kind of interesting conversation with him. Oh, he listens to my ramblings, but never speaks himself so much as an indication to leave him alone unless I feel like walking around with no toes.
So I leave him to his grumpy life (he used to be so much nicer in Wales!), and get on with mine, but I can't help noticing that he appears a bit jealous of the attention Harold is receiving. Of course, the fact that Harold is a lot more compliant than Otis does not help the situation - having such a lovely, peaceful creature around is so refreshing.
I plan on trying to get Otis to be a bit more interactive though. Hopefully, with Christmas drawing near, he will open up a bit more. We'll just have to wait and see.
Tuesday, 15 July 2014
A Witness Request
Our latest adventures have involved quite a lot of travel. Of course that's no problem for Otis. He is, after all, an owl. But it has proven problematic for me; in particular because we seem to loose each other quite a bit when out and about. I had been telling Otis to acquire a sat nav, but he still can't get his head around the concept of invisible information. We haven't broached the topic of thoughts yet.
Anyway, so there was one particular incident where I was on the coach going somewhere, and I was reading away, when I happen to look out of the window, and there was Otis, perched on the rooftop of a car on the motorway, with his tail in the head, looking into the car. I think the people in the car must have got quite a fright, as they were banging on the window and seemed to be shouting at him. And then Otis somehow fell off the car and fell into a bush and that was the last I saw of him, right through my entire trip and all the way back too.
Until tonight, when I found him in a tree near Tesco's. I was doing my regular shop, when I happened to come across him with some of his new mates in the tree (he says he understands the Scottish banter a lot better than pigeon banter). Surprised, I asked him where on earth he had been. He replied in his usual smug manner that he had been looking for me but I had nearly killed him and left him in a bush to die!!! We exchanged a few more slightly unpleasant vocabulary before I went on my way and he continued perching on his high tree.
As far as I am aware, he is still there now, no doubt rejoicing in the fact that he thinks rid of me. But I have in mind to go tell him a thing or two tomorrow. Such owlness is just fowl and I will stand it no longer. If anyone reading this witnessed these recent events, please get in touch, as I am creating a folder of the 'Otis out' sort. Not the type that gets rid of him, just the one that enquires after his intellect and provides a little intervention to sort some of his problems out. I would miss him terribly if he were to completely disappear. Besides, there's still the concept of thoughts to talk about ...
Anyway, so there was one particular incident where I was on the coach going somewhere, and I was reading away, when I happen to look out of the window, and there was Otis, perched on the rooftop of a car on the motorway, with his tail in the head, looking into the car. I think the people in the car must have got quite a fright, as they were banging on the window and seemed to be shouting at him. And then Otis somehow fell off the car and fell into a bush and that was the last I saw of him, right through my entire trip and all the way back too.
Until tonight, when I found him in a tree near Tesco's. I was doing my regular shop, when I happened to come across him with some of his new mates in the tree (he says he understands the Scottish banter a lot better than pigeon banter). Surprised, I asked him where on earth he had been. He replied in his usual smug manner that he had been looking for me but I had nearly killed him and left him in a bush to die!!! We exchanged a few more slightly unpleasant vocabulary before I went on my way and he continued perching on his high tree.
As far as I am aware, he is still there now, no doubt rejoicing in the fact that he thinks rid of me. But I have in mind to go tell him a thing or two tomorrow. Such owlness is just fowl and I will stand it no longer. If anyone reading this witnessed these recent events, please get in touch, as I am creating a folder of the 'Otis out' sort. Not the type that gets rid of him, just the one that enquires after his intellect and provides a little intervention to sort some of his problems out. I would miss him terribly if he were to completely disappear. Besides, there's still the concept of thoughts to talk about ...
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Where did November come from?
I've been flying around the place for a while now and when I came back, it was November. Rabaskah Boo keeps telling me it's because I must have fallen aslip somewhere but that's just not true. She's binn teaching me speeling and English as mine apparantly was atrsuss but she's ok at it I guess.
So people, please tell me where November came from because I lost track of October, September, and all the months inbitween.
~ Otis Burble
So people, please tell me where November came from because I lost track of October, September, and all the months inbitween.
~ Otis Burble
Tuesday, 30 April 2013
The secret of time keeping ...
... Is definitely colour coding. Colour code your diary, your time schedule plan, your Bible, the books you read, things you find hard to remember, everything. Here's why.
Having conducted a study on the Functioning and Anatomical Structure of the owl brain based on the Case Study of Otis Burble, and the Interaction of daily input and Electrochemical Stimulation of Temporal Neurones, I found that the difference between giving Otis Burble things to remember that were colour coded produced significantly more correct answers than when I gave him things to remember without any colour coding at all. In addition, the inclusion of chocolate was phenomenal! He has since learnt the ancient art of bat communicating, as well as manners, and is now learning how to woo cars from parking in stupid places like ON THE CYCLE LANES!!! Hopefully there will be no more annoying people who think that it's fine to do that because cyclists aren't less likely to be run over if they have to overtake cars parked on a double yellow line where they're obviously not meant to be. Sometimes, the traffic people get it right and put things in the streets for a reason.
Anyway, I'd better go. That study I was talking about is being published and will soon be accessible via the Intraconnected Journal of Owls and other Small Mammals. The bats are back.
Burble & Boo. xx
Having conducted a study on the Functioning and Anatomical Structure of the owl brain based on the Case Study of Otis Burble, and the Interaction of daily input and Electrochemical Stimulation of Temporal Neurones, I found that the difference between giving Otis Burble things to remember that were colour coded produced significantly more correct answers than when I gave him things to remember without any colour coding at all. In addition, the inclusion of chocolate was phenomenal! He has since learnt the ancient art of bat communicating, as well as manners, and is now learning how to woo cars from parking in stupid places like ON THE CYCLE LANES!!! Hopefully there will be no more annoying people who think that it's fine to do that because cyclists aren't less likely to be run over if they have to overtake cars parked on a double yellow line where they're obviously not meant to be. Sometimes, the traffic people get it right and put things in the streets for a reason.
Anyway, I'd better go. That study I was talking about is being published and will soon be accessible via the Intraconnected Journal of Owls and other Small Mammals. The bats are back.
Burble & Boo. xx
Saturday, 20 April 2013
Midnight Meddlings
Anyway, I was doing all kinds of fun mischief, and in flies Otis through the window, and I haven't seen him in ages. I'd been hoping he would join me and the King when we went up to Scotland, but he was still on his way back from trying to rescue Coco. Like he thinks he's a hero. Though I heard of his bravery and was quite impressed with his ruthlessness; he would have risked his life for a silly monkey.
When he flew through the window tonight, I was so happy to see him - as in, happy like I haven't been in long time! He began telling me of the 'adventures' he had on his way back from his great Coco-rescuing-mission, but his little eyes kept closing he was that tired. So I let him burble out his last nonsense sentence as he fell asleep, before I rushed to the laptop to tell the world; my Otis is back!!! Tomorrow we're gonna conquer the world and have a whale of a time.
Maybe not a whale. Bit hard to swallow.
#gatheringofthenightowls
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Quackers.
Me: Hey Otis, where have you been?
Otis: I don't negotiate my whereabouts except with myself.
Me: That's not what I asked you. Have you been up 'Anley?
Otis: Yes.
Me: Visiting friends?
Otis: Yes.
Me: Are they well?
Otis: No they're ducks.
I don't quite know what to say to that.
Otis: I don't negotiate my whereabouts except with myself.
Me: That's not what I asked you. Have you been up 'Anley?
Otis: Yes.
Me: Visiting friends?
Otis: Yes.
Me: Are they well?
Otis: No they're ducks.
I don't quite know what to say to that.
Saturday, 1 December 2012
My New Roommate
As I sit here with a mug of hot chocolate, wondering why on earth it's gone so freezing, but kind of enjoying the fact that I can curl up on my nice cosy bed, Otis is banging on the window to come in. It's kind of funny lately; since it's gone so cold, every time he goes out (he's made friends with the local owl club not too far from our house), he gets icicles on his ears and under his beak because he flies so high. He doesn't appreciate me laughing at him though and when he comes home, he sits by the radiator trying to warm up. He keeps talking about a snail friend of his, Mergetrerd Poot - apparently there's a court case going against him for illegal lodging. I told Otis I would offer a place here for him to stay, but it's not my place so I can't. Not sure that comment was received too well.
Recently I made friends with Sebastian; he likes to hide under my bed and explores my room on occasion, especially when I haven't tidied up. I sent a picture to the Admiral, but the reply 'Dude that is so not nice...' implies that he thinks my new friend is pretty ugly (see what I did there!? It wasn't even intentional until I saw it myself!!!).
I haven't introduced Otis to Sebastian yet, I'm a bit scared he'll eat him, so I'm trying to figure out the safest way for Sebastian to get to know Otis' caring side. It's a tough one, especially since Otis seems to think he needs to winter feed himself - that means stuffing himself with anything he can get his beak on, especially anything that moves and crawls and wriggles, including maggots. He's been hiding under the leaves in the park and when he comes home I always have to tell him to have a bath cause he stinks and is usually covered in bugs and muck. I don't know what's come over him lately, he always used to hate getting mucky, but since we've moved to the House on the Hill he's been acting strange. Perhaps it's because we're closer to the moon. I will have to do some research on it.
Before I go (weekend hibernation) - how amazing are the blue Argos aliens!? I am so going to meet them. Maybe see them live when they go on tour. I wonder which planet they're from.
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Lately ...
As Christmas draws nearer, Otis and I have become very busy with sorting out presents and thinking about what people might want us to give them, and trying to figure out where we actually live! We've moved around so many times these past few months, we've become very confused, and sometimes accidentally speak Welsh and German and English and some other language which we can't quite place, all at the same time! I guess that would be WeGermish (and some other language which we can't quite place).
The other week I came home from a long day of existing, and couldn't find Otis anywhere. He appeared the next day (slightly more grumpy than usual) and said he'd been knocking on my window all night long, why hadn't I opened up for him? Turns out, he'd given up, and had flown away to a field to do some mouse hunting before returning home - only he'd gone to the wrong house originally without realising it. I just hope it wasn't one of the neighbours; unless it was the blue Argos aliens, I'm pretty sure anyone would be pretty angry having to put up with such a racket all night long!
Speaking of the blue Argos aliens, I've decided to write to Argos asking if they wouldn't mind telling me where they live. I so hope they are my neighbours, I feel like there's a connection that I can't quite explain. Maybe they're the creatures we got our DNA from when it was carried through space a million billion trillion years ago and landed on planet earth before evolving into us. It would be good to find out how the family's doing. I haven't told Otis yet, I think he'll be really happy, seeing as he's probably more related to them than I am. This evolution theory really does make sense when applying it to the blue Argos aliens.
I haven't had time to work on my project of studying Otis' brain, it's proven difficult when it's hard to find, and in addition, we've both been very busy, trying to remember which house we live in, who we know, and what we know, and then figuring out what day it is. All quite complicated as you can tell. We thought maybe a holiday on the moon would help, but then we discovered they don't sell crackers up there, or chocolate. I can imagine there are lots of mice with all the cheese - Otis would like that, but I'm not sure what their laws are.
So all in all very busy, and a busy week ahead of us. Otis would like to say hi to everyone - when I write on here, he gets very excited because he thinks he's famous. Wouldn't that be nice!?
Hope you all have a good week, don't get into mischief!
Monday, 22 October 2012
Autumn outings
Otis has decided to hibernate early this year, and so my outing to Nottingham took place on my own. I was very privileged to stay at the Mables with Mr. and Mrs and Little Mable. When Little Mable was even littler - so Mrs Mable tells me - the family moved house, and little Mable was so overwhelmed by the amount of rooms he said to his Mummy; "now you and Daddy don't have to share anymore!!!"
I was more than happy to spend a day in the wonderful city, becoming a chocolate utopian, drinking new tea in a hippie tea place, seeing lots of vintage shops and listening in to people's conversations, talking to strange strangers and discovering that I'm just as strange, and pondering where I'll be in the future now that Otis has decided to hibernate earlier.
Obviously, his hibernation didn't last long; I have just arrived back, and as I was tiptoing into my room (he was perched on the wardrobe), he peeked a look at me through one of his eyes. I guess he must have thought that I wasn't looking, or he didn't care that I'd seen, because he closed it slowly and when I tried speaking to him just didn't respond. Then I turned my attention to unpacking, and he sighed deeply and said, "You're back then." and plodded to the top shelf of the bookshelf, where he's been watching me ever since. I usually talk to myself anyway, so I've been rattling off my thoughts, and he doesn't seem impressed (I've been considering voting myself as Prime Minister in the next election but think it's probably not worth risking making promises about chocolate and then not being able to implement them; not only would I lose the trust of my people, but it would also be of no great benefit to myself!).
Anyway, I think before I go I'd like to mention that more spies have been exposed and there seems to be a pattern - most dads 50+ who disguise themselves as business people/ normal men who do office work for 'normal' companies are usually not what they seem! So beware folks, you may be surrounded by spies. Whether for your safety or not, I'm not sure, but will definitely keep you posted!
Good night for now, sweet dreams!
I was more than happy to spend a day in the wonderful city, becoming a chocolate utopian, drinking new tea in a hippie tea place, seeing lots of vintage shops and listening in to people's conversations, talking to strange strangers and discovering that I'm just as strange, and pondering where I'll be in the future now that Otis has decided to hibernate earlier.
Obviously, his hibernation didn't last long; I have just arrived back, and as I was tiptoing into my room (he was perched on the wardrobe), he peeked a look at me through one of his eyes. I guess he must have thought that I wasn't looking, or he didn't care that I'd seen, because he closed it slowly and when I tried speaking to him just didn't respond. Then I turned my attention to unpacking, and he sighed deeply and said, "You're back then." and plodded to the top shelf of the bookshelf, where he's been watching me ever since. I usually talk to myself anyway, so I've been rattling off my thoughts, and he doesn't seem impressed (I've been considering voting myself as Prime Minister in the next election but think it's probably not worth risking making promises about chocolate and then not being able to implement them; not only would I lose the trust of my people, but it would also be of no great benefit to myself!).
Anyway, I think before I go I'd like to mention that more spies have been exposed and there seems to be a pattern - most dads 50+ who disguise themselves as business people/ normal men who do office work for 'normal' companies are usually not what they seem! So beware folks, you may be surrounded by spies. Whether for your safety or not, I'm not sure, but will definitely keep you posted!
Good night for now, sweet dreams!
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
Shaun
Otis and I went home over the weekend. We have many homes, that's because we have many families and get bored very easily with bathrooms. But one of our favourite homes is where there's lots of nature and sheep and hills. This weekend, we weren't disappointed. We had the joy of seeing Dylan and meeting his Awesome Person, and then we all went for a walk along the moors. When we reached the top we stopped to have a drink, and the world was a good place which was nice because I had begun to get grumpy and fed up with walking in the freezing cold. As we walked back, we passed a lot of sheep and they all stood there staring at us, chewing gum or whatever it is they chew, as if they were the king of their castle. I really wasn't impressed by them; thought they were chavy, but they must have taken a liking to us, as two days later, they appeared at the doorstep (please see picture)!
Don't worry, I didn't let them in, especially not that Shaun, I hear he's a rioter and trouble-maker and I don't trust him an inch! Otis on the other hand is quite charmed by the sheep, he said he was locked out the house one night by accident (I did tell him to be back BEFORE the moon came out!), and so he flew around for ages, looking for the ruins of his old uncle Gerbert's house, who was supposedly a bit of a celebrity around home in his time. The Settlers have never heard of him though, and Otis never found the house, but as he flew over the moors, he made friends with a few of the sheep and is very likely to fly back within the next week. He was a bit sad to go back to our other home, as was I, but we are both very happy that we have lots of homes and can make friends with all the sheep across Britain.
While we were home with the Settlers, I received some news from the King (of Scotland that is). One of his tenants has been trying to conquer the throne. I shouldn't really be telling you this as it's all top secret and what-not, but I don't suppose you'll remember much of this anyway, if you're reading it in the first place, as I'm sure you have a lot more exciting things to do. And if you are bored enough to be reading this, then be reassured that I am very grateful you are and you are an absolutely amazing reader and wonderful because of it! Anyway, I know the King isn't a spy, I checked, but I need to be careful with some other people as they are definitely spies. I don't think the Tenant is a spy, he is far too comfortable, but you never know.
And so the lesson for today is; beware who you say what to! I've been analysing the sheep picture and have come to the conclusion that one of them is a spy. My plans of further action have been established, but I will not release them on here, someone might just remember it.
Have a good week, and stay lovely.
Don't worry, I didn't let them in, especially not that Shaun, I hear he's a rioter and trouble-maker and I don't trust him an inch! Otis on the other hand is quite charmed by the sheep, he said he was locked out the house one night by accident (I did tell him to be back BEFORE the moon came out!), and so he flew around for ages, looking for the ruins of his old uncle Gerbert's house, who was supposedly a bit of a celebrity around home in his time. The Settlers have never heard of him though, and Otis never found the house, but as he flew over the moors, he made friends with a few of the sheep and is very likely to fly back within the next week. He was a bit sad to go back to our other home, as was I, but we are both very happy that we have lots of homes and can make friends with all the sheep across Britain.
While we were home with the Settlers, I received some news from the King (of Scotland that is). One of his tenants has been trying to conquer the throne. I shouldn't really be telling you this as it's all top secret and what-not, but I don't suppose you'll remember much of this anyway, if you're reading it in the first place, as I'm sure you have a lot more exciting things to do. And if you are bored enough to be reading this, then be reassured that I am very grateful you are and you are an absolutely amazing reader and wonderful because of it! Anyway, I know the King isn't a spy, I checked, but I need to be careful with some other people as they are definitely spies. I don't think the Tenant is a spy, he is far too comfortable, but you never know.
And so the lesson for today is; beware who you say what to! I've been analysing the sheep picture and have come to the conclusion that one of them is a spy. My plans of further action have been established, but I will not release them on here, someone might just remember it.
Have a good week, and stay lovely.
Friday, 28 September 2012
Henry
A few days ago, we met Henry.
I'm not much of a cat person, and most cats are pretty boring, but Henry isn't normal and he's certainly not boring.
We were visiting a friend who will remain nameless - I don't think he's a spy, but there might be reason for him being searched for by spies, and I wouldn't want to put him in any danger. Certainly not if they were ninja spies, that usually doesn't go well.
Anyway, this is how Otis' first encounter with Henry went: "You know, I knew a cat once who looked just like you!" (Henry stares at him intensely, then miaows; I'm not entirely sure it was meant to be a word). Otis: "Can't you speak? Cat got your tongue? You're not much of a cat are you?" Henry gives him a long big grumpy stare with his massive eyes and bad-tempered face, then walks off.
Otis says he's never met a more obnoxious cat, but he keeps talking about him, so I believe Otis adores him. We will be visiting Henry again very soon, and then I will be able to get a better picture of what the two weirdest animals on the planet think of each other.
I'm not much of a cat person, and most cats are pretty boring, but Henry isn't normal and he's certainly not boring.
We were visiting a friend who will remain nameless - I don't think he's a spy, but there might be reason for him being searched for by spies, and I wouldn't want to put him in any danger. Certainly not if they were ninja spies, that usually doesn't go well.
Anyway, this is how Otis' first encounter with Henry went: "You know, I knew a cat once who looked just like you!" (Henry stares at him intensely, then miaows; I'm not entirely sure it was meant to be a word). Otis: "Can't you speak? Cat got your tongue? You're not much of a cat are you?" Henry gives him a long big grumpy stare with his massive eyes and bad-tempered face, then walks off.
Otis says he's never met a more obnoxious cat, but he keeps talking about him, so I believe Otis adores him. We will be visiting Henry again very soon, and then I will be able to get a better picture of what the two weirdest animals on the planet think of each other.
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
New Beginnings
As an update to life - although, please don't be insulted, I'm pretty sure your life is much more exciting than ours, and you're just reading this blog to be polite - Otis and I have emigrated. I guess we're allowed to say emigrate, as we left the land of dragons and are now in the land of gnomes.
It's pretty awesome so far, although we do miss our dragons, especially Ernibert. Have I told you about Ernibert? He claims to be the last dragon in Wales. He's not.
The move was quite crazy. On the way up (we went by coach), Otis insisted on sitting on the roof. After a long discussion with the coach driver, he got his way as usual, and so throughout the whole journey, we spoke through the roof. As soon as we entered the land of gnomes, it started raining - we had been expecting it, but Otis forgot, and got soaked through!
Although we are familiar with the area around here, we are now living in an area that is quite new to us. We explored a bit the other day, and Otis flew high above the trees and streets and houses and when he came back, he said it was all ugly and grey from the top. I asked how high he flew, and it would appear he flew above the clouds without realising it (you'd think you'd know when you're flying through a cloud, but not Otis!) and so he thought the whole place was grey!
Tomorrow we are going to the big centre of knowledge where I've enrolled to learn all about stuff, and Otis has decided he might want to learn about stuff too, although he told me that he knew pretty much everything already anyway. I asked him if he could tell me what pi was, and he said that of course he knew, but he wasn't going to tell me because people might think him a show-off. I doubt he understands the meaning of show-off, seeing as he's told everyone in the radius of 10 miles of our new home that he did a study on the King Owls of France.
As regards the brain study, unfortunately I wasn't able to bring my Owscannerbrain as it's quite heavy and I was scared it might break. I will however be working with some very clever people soon, and am hoping that we could maybe work together in finding out more of this strange little owl called Otis.
He's certainly very adorable. And now I will go and watch him in secret, as he tries to make friends with the house cat. He's telling her about the time he accidentally mistook a badger for a mouse ... where will this end!???
Although we are familiar with the area around here, we are now living in an area that is quite new to us. We explored a bit the other day, and Otis flew high above the trees and streets and houses and when he came back, he said it was all ugly and grey from the top. I asked how high he flew, and it would appear he flew above the clouds without realising it (you'd think you'd know when you're flying through a cloud, but not Otis!) and so he thought the whole place was grey!
Tomorrow we are going to the big centre of knowledge where I've enrolled to learn all about stuff, and Otis has decided he might want to learn about stuff too, although he told me that he knew pretty much everything already anyway. I asked him if he could tell me what pi was, and he said that of course he knew, but he wasn't going to tell me because people might think him a show-off. I doubt he understands the meaning of show-off, seeing as he's told everyone in the radius of 10 miles of our new home that he did a study on the King Owls of France.
As regards the brain study, unfortunately I wasn't able to bring my Owscannerbrain as it's quite heavy and I was scared it might break. I will however be working with some very clever people soon, and am hoping that we could maybe work together in finding out more of this strange little owl called Otis.
He's certainly very adorable. And now I will go and watch him in secret, as he tries to make friends with the house cat. He's telling her about the time he accidentally mistook a badger for a mouse ... where will this end!???
Thursday, 6 September 2012
More diary entries
I think I spotted Otis somewhere on the hills, so I'm not so worried now, and have also found some more diary entries that made me giggle; I hope they make you giggle just as much :-):
"2nd September 2012
I nearly beat Fudge up yesterday, he's so annoying. I was just sitting in my old spot in the woods, and he comes flying over with his mates, and tells me that I can't sit there because it's his spot. As I proceeded to tell him about Ferdinand the Great of Swansea, the stupid pigeon rudely interrupted and said he wasn't interested in any of my made up facts and that if I didn't budge, he'd shoot me. I just looked at him indignantly and took off to the river to see if there was anything interesting to eat, having decided not to stoop to their level. But, I have made it my concern to cause an uprising and get this matter sorted. The woods should not be allowing such insolent beings in, they're a danger to all beings and birds, and need to be punished!
4th September 2012
Having discovered a potion to make me faster, I am planning a trip away to collect all the ingredients. Looks like lots of berries are involved. I'm not telling Frank, she'll come up with some good excuse to stop me from completing this mission.
Also, I have discovered that my great great Aunt Meryl is still alive. Must visit her soon before she dies. Unfortunately, I have no excuse not to go. Oh well, maybe I will gain some valuable information as to how to get rid of pigeons.
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Berry picking
Yesterday was a busy day; the hedge in the front of our house needed trimming (looots!), so we did. While I was pulling away brambles and getting scratched and bitten by thorns and thistles, I noticed Otis picking at some plant. Going over to see what mischief he was involved in this time, I noticed that he was eating berries - the red ones that you're not meant to eat. So I said to him, "Otis, you can't eat those, they're poisonous!" You will hopefully agree with me that this was a well-meaning way of looking after him, but Otis didn't see it like that. He glared at me and said something about him being an owl longer than I've been one, and then he flew away. That was yesterday and he's still not come back, I'm slightly concerned. Hopefully he's found some pigeon friend or something who will help him if he needs it.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated. If you see him, please let me know.
Anyway, I'll keep you updated. If you see him, please let me know.
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Diary entries
I stole Otis' diary (shh, don't tell him!) and found this hehe (I corrected the spelling mistakes and I just couldn't figure out what was meant by some of his sentences, so I just wrote what I thought Otis would have written, even if it makes little sense):
Haha, this is all I found, lovely Otis has only recently started writing a diary, so I've put it back where I found it and will be looking in regularly to see what he's written. This might also help with my quantitative analysis of his brain. Perhaps someone will even want to publish the report when it's finished. I very much doubt it though the way things are going (hence the need to be Frank). Otis, on the other hand, is having the time of his life! He claims to have become General in the army. I'm pretty sure that's not true though, as he's the thickest owl around and quite clumsy, especially when it comes to aiming at things.
Let's hope this next week will be full of exciting things for Otis to do so we can have a giggle!
"23rd August 2012
Tweehoo, Fred is still gone, I think she's coming back next year, so I'm going to hang out with the pigeons a bit in the woods. They're awesome, Fudge used to be in the army but got kicked out for doing handstands when he was on duty. Poor thing, I think he was quite devastated when they did, he keeps talking about invading the squirrels' territory and shooting maggots. I think he's glad I'm here though, I can't wait to teach him a thing or two, he can thank his stars!
I went for a soar on the clouds in the other direction today and lost my way because the signs were all in Welsh, so I asked a badger which way. He said something but I couldn't figure out what it was, so I carried on for a bit as I was in no hurry. I found a massive lake that goes beyond what the eye can see, the air tasted weird and there were a lot of seagulls flying around. I hate seagulls, they're a common bunch and should be shot! I wish I was young enough to join the army, this country needs a bit of discipline, especially in tackling those seagull invaders! Luckily I found a pigeon who is acquainted with Fudge, so he showed me the way home. I need to ask Fudge to show me around as I have no idea where I'm going. In fact, I might write a letter of complaint to the government - these signs will not do! They also need to build more shops and perhaps a pub or two more. It's important to stay hydrated throughout the day, that's what Fred says. Anyway, got to go, Fudge is calling, I think he's in a spot of trouble and needs my help! Traaaa.
28th August 2012
Fred has come back and turned into Frank, though to be honest, I can hardly tell the difference. It seems there's a need to be Frank in the air, but it's all nonsense if you ask me! It also appears to be quite contagious, Fudge told me to go away and stick my head in a rabbit hole, just seconds after I'd saved him from a nest of maggots! Such ungrateful behaviour does not go in my good books, and so I am gladly staying away from the pigeons. At least, until one of them comes back and apologises, then I might contemplate paying them a quick visit. They're all a bunch of lunatics and not worth mentioning in a history book!
Anyway, got to go, just running the bath and I'm not sure how it switches off. Traaaa."
Haha, this is all I found, lovely Otis has only recently started writing a diary, so I've put it back where I found it and will be looking in regularly to see what he's written. This might also help with my quantitative analysis of his brain. Perhaps someone will even want to publish the report when it's finished. I very much doubt it though the way things are going (hence the need to be Frank). Otis, on the other hand, is having the time of his life! He claims to have become General in the army. I'm pretty sure that's not true though, as he's the thickest owl around and quite clumsy, especially when it comes to aiming at things.
Let's hope this next week will be full of exciting things for Otis to do so we can have a giggle!
Thursday, 30 August 2012
5 a Day
First off, apologies for the previous post. Apparently Otis had been planning a getaway ('getaway from what?' I asked him - 'getaway from youhoo!' he replied), and the message had meant to say this:
"Instruction.
Ok, so I hacked into Bekah's account and am planning a getaway. Who's with me???? The ship leaves tomorrow at 6am Greenwich meantime. Report to captain Burble.
Over and out."
I had a quiet word with him and a psychology session on top of that (for him, not for me), and I think we are getting to the bottom of his weird behaviour - the childhood trauma with the bats plays a crucial part in Otis wanting to get away, but because the re-occurrence of bats a few weeks ago was so traumatic, he has blocked out the memory, and now thinks that he hates me. A projection of trauma onto the owner is not uncommon with owls.
So that's Otis.
Now to my trip to Stoke. Plenty happened, and Otis was not there, it was so nice (while I was away, I think he hid in the woods with the pigeons, his new 'buddies').
Anyway, I spent some time with Opium, and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! This is what happened.
We were having our five a day and happened to be in The Glebe, sitting in the corner, overhearing a conversation of some guys talking about what was happening whilst they were shaving - I don't know what happened, we giggled too much - contemplating the fact that it's great how we can lead healthy yet jolly lives as we sipped the grapes that would so graciously prevent us from developing blocked arteries and coronary heart diseases.
It's strange how Opium and I have only just discovered we're twins, we have the same nose and everything! OK, after my nose job they may differ slightly (my brother did a good job, I have to say, though his knuckle marks are still visible, but he said they'd grow away soon), but that's like saying we can;t be twins because we differ by a beauty spot!
It's clear now that we can be nothing but twins, as we often don't speak, just staring at each other, and yet we can communicate mistake free!!!
Like, Opium communicated to me about the fact that wine makes all thongs philosophical, and as we walked back to our abode, I have to say, thongs seemed to have a deeper meaning than usual.
Before we went home completely, we went to the park and watched some stars shoot around a bit, marvelled at their accurate aim, and wondered why they weren't in the olympics. I guess they're just humble.
The rest of my trip isn't really that exciting. I went to a course, met some other amazing people, had a fantastically exciting time before I was shipped off onto the coach back to Wales.
There is one more thing worth noting; my first coach was delayed by an hour, and I was worried that I'd miss my connection, as we were late for its departure. I decided not to worry, as there wasn't much I could do, and just prayed things would work out, whether that meant fixing things if I had missed the connection, or simply just enabling me that silly connection.
And what do you think happened? Pretty much all coaches were delayed by an hour, it was a bank holiday weekend which is what caused the delays I think. Praise the Lord, I had plenty of time before my connection was rescheduled to depart, and I was able to buy myself some lunch!
If there's one thing Otis and I agree on, then it's how awesome our Lord is. In fact, I think he (Otis) is just doing a joy flight outside to His glory! Silly, adorable owl!
"Instruction.
Ok, so I hacked into Bekah's account and am planning a getaway. Who's with me???? The ship leaves tomorrow at 6am Greenwich meantime. Report to captain Burble.
Over and out."
I had a quiet word with him and a psychology session on top of that (for him, not for me), and I think we are getting to the bottom of his weird behaviour - the childhood trauma with the bats plays a crucial part in Otis wanting to get away, but because the re-occurrence of bats a few weeks ago was so traumatic, he has blocked out the memory, and now thinks that he hates me. A projection of trauma onto the owner is not uncommon with owls.
So that's Otis.
Now to my trip to Stoke. Plenty happened, and Otis was not there, it was so nice (while I was away, I think he hid in the woods with the pigeons, his new 'buddies').
Anyway, I spent some time with Opium, and it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! This is what happened.
We were having our five a day and happened to be in The Glebe, sitting in the corner, overhearing a conversation of some guys talking about what was happening whilst they were shaving - I don't know what happened, we giggled too much - contemplating the fact that it's great how we can lead healthy yet jolly lives as we sipped the grapes that would so graciously prevent us from developing blocked arteries and coronary heart diseases.
It's strange how Opium and I have only just discovered we're twins, we have the same nose and everything! OK, after my nose job they may differ slightly (my brother did a good job, I have to say, though his knuckle marks are still visible, but he said they'd grow away soon), but that's like saying we can;t be twins because we differ by a beauty spot!
It's clear now that we can be nothing but twins, as we often don't speak, just staring at each other, and yet we can communicate mistake free!!!
Like, Opium communicated to me about the fact that wine makes all thongs philosophical, and as we walked back to our abode, I have to say, thongs seemed to have a deeper meaning than usual.
Before we went home completely, we went to the park and watched some stars shoot around a bit, marvelled at their accurate aim, and wondered why they weren't in the olympics. I guess they're just humble.
The rest of my trip isn't really that exciting. I went to a course, met some other amazing people, had a fantastically exciting time before I was shipped off onto the coach back to Wales.
There is one more thing worth noting; my first coach was delayed by an hour, and I was worried that I'd miss my connection, as we were late for its departure. I decided not to worry, as there wasn't much I could do, and just prayed things would work out, whether that meant fixing things if I had missed the connection, or simply just enabling me that silly connection.
And what do you think happened? Pretty much all coaches were delayed by an hour, it was a bank holiday weekend which is what caused the delays I think. Praise the Lord, I had plenty of time before my connection was rescheduled to depart, and I was able to buy myself some lunch!
If there's one thing Otis and I agree on, then it's how awesome our Lord is. In fact, I think he (Otis) is just doing a joy flight outside to His glory! Silly, adorable owl!
Monday, 20 August 2012
Intrsuifgn
Ok so O hackef into Bejas'd account and am planing a gfetaway. WHos' wiht me????
The shpi leaves tomogwo ta 6ma gwenivhs meantime. Repotr ro captian Burble.
Oveer and ojut.
The shpi leaves tomogwo ta 6ma gwenivhs meantime. Repotr ro captian Burble.
Oveer and ojut.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)