Stow away

We have a plan. One of Clatalie's friends is going to New York, so we have created a few plans which define how we could get to New York and enjoy the lols of seeing a country that till now only exists on teli, the internet, and what is left of our imagination.

1. Plan A. The marriage plan. We both marry rediculously rich men. Like, millionaires. Architects, rock stars, doctors and the like. Might take a while and would probably require sacrificing love, whatever that is. It would be a bit like in the olden days. Oo, we could wear Jane Austen style dresses, that would be amazing! Ok, Clatalie would probably disagree. So no dresses, unless we want to. But lots of travelling, books, chocolate and the likes of which we cannot afford anything right now. Poor us. 


2. Plan B. The invisible cohort. We smuggle into Clatalie's friend's suitcase, reappearing only when he arrives at the other end, having passed through security safely, and at a fair distance to the airport. Would mean some explaining, but we'd have plenty of time to think of something incredibly believable and sympathy stimulating.


3. Plan C. The sneaky smugglers. We lie in wait at some airport in England, and search out for the most naive travelers around. Then, when they are not looking, we remove all their clothes from their suitcases, and squeeze ourselves into the empty suitcases. Involves the risk of not quite knowing what country we'll end up in. On the other side, there are two things that can happen. Well, three:

• We rise out of the suitcases on the other end and drift through passport check and security (with our passports obviously), as if we were innocent passengers that had just had a long flight and couldn't wait to eat and sleep and get on with life. Problem with looking scruffy (I'm guessing one would be quite scruffy after spending hours in a suitcase in the hold of an aeroplane. Not to mention frozen), but then some people just are scruffy. How to get back? Make money, or follow the same procedure. Where there's a will there's a way. If the will isn't there, then we obviously want to stay.
• We wait till our hosts have left the airport premises and sneak out of the suitcases. Might be a bit tricky finding the right time to exit unseen. But hey, who isn't up for an adventure!?
• We get caught and have to be escorted back to Britain in our own private jet, surrounded by strong police men who give us lots of chocolate and tell us exciting stories about capturing criminals and eating gingerbread. Seems the safest option to me.

Because of our amazing organisational skills, we haven't actually got round to trying any of these out, but if we do end up in New York or Australia or India, we will send you a post card. 

Oh, I've just remembered - Otis Burble. Oh, but he's a bird, he can make his own way there, he doesn't even have to go by map!