Batman

It turns out the Teddy episode was all a big lie; Otis had 'accidentally' placed him in mysterious places so he would get in trouble - apparently, Otis doesn't like Teddy and was trying to get rid of him. As if Teddy's are real! Don't worry, I didn't fall for it though, and have banished Otis to the woods for a week and a half. I hope he gets really terrified there - a few nights ago, there was a bat in my room, poor thing, and Otis got really scared and hid under the bed! He says it was some childhood issue he had where his brother locked him in a room filled with bats, and they mocked him till dawn, threatening to eat his liver. Ever since then, his insides have clung onto each other so badly it hurts when he thinks about it (see Figure 1).

Figure 1: X-ray of Otis' insides after the first bat incident, courtesy of here.

So it's been a fun week. Next week, we're headed back to Stoke to visit. I asked Otis if he could fly me there, but he says I've eaten too much healthy stuff lately and weigh too much. Again, not quite sure where he gets his information from - I suspect he's been watching TOWIE through the neighbour's windows whilst lip reading everyone because he has an inner ear effect. That would also explain the other day, when I said, "I'm just going to watch How I Met Your Mother" and he thought I said, "I'm just going to bet my brother." He still doesn't believe me that I don't have a brother.

Oh, wait. I have two. And as it happens it was Little Brother's birthday the other day. Happy Birthday, Little Brother! Otis says he has a present for you (I think it's a dead mouse, so just smile and look enthusiastic).
Better go, I've only had three cups of tea today.